This isn’t just NSFW (not safe for work) but NSA (not safe anywhere). Proceed at your own risk. And if I haven’t stressed it enough yet, I’ll repeat it again. This is not for the faint of heart. If there are kids around you right now, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT open this. This is more than just disgusting. This is the possibility of depravity of the human race.
Now if you’re so curious yet can’t help but wonder what this is, google Coprophagia in wikipedia. That should bring you up to what I’m talking about. Now if you can imagine what is being described there without vomiting, then you can pretty much handle a few seconds of this clip.
OR NOT.
Again, a disclaimer. For reasons other than personal and physical well-being, it is also advised not to open this on a dedicated server or on a PC where you store valuable documents and stuff you don’t want destroyed, erased, etc. The site I will be linking is possibly geared will all kinds of nasty things that’ll invade your PC’s security. Am advising to proceed on a public PC or internet cafe. Or any PC that’s NOT YOURS. (though I opened this on my own laptop, i didn’t care much since there’s nothing of value in my hard drive, and i can just reformat anytime).
Now, to end the suspense, the link for your viewing pleasure.
2 Girls 1 Cup (don’t say I didn’t warn you)
Vomited yet? Well just think that that clip could’ve been doctored. I say could’ve because on the next clip, that "could’ve" is pretty much erased. Doctored how? Well, if you’re knowledgeable enough in filming, you’d notice that the camera cuts coincided in such a way that the cup’s content could’ve been substituted with something else (perhaps a chocolate dairy queen?) and that everything else is pretty much left to your imagination for the video to work.
Well, not so with this.
2 Girls 1 Finger
Okay. Now I’m a BELIEVER. Go on. Figure out how that one can be doctored with camera cuts. The second and following cuts yes, but not the first.
Disturbing?
Well keep in mind that wikipedia says one can be vaccinated if one practices this kind of thing. Still, this is probably worse than necrophilia in the hierarchy of sex fetishes (that i know of). Not that I know many. Or any, at all.
for the entire background, here’s ever reliable wikipedia
what wiki says
—
Knowledge is frightening. The internet? Horrifying multiplied many times over. This is how boundaries are erased, and pretty much everything invaded. The only way to guard against invasion is to strengthen your mind with more information. And the only way to stay sane enough long enough to acquire that much information is of course, to forget it once you’ve acquired it. And then you call it up when you need it. It’s basic mind partitioning. You program your mind with your will. It’s self-administered amnesia, self-hypnosis, whatever you call it. No wonder I have blank spots in my memory. It’s my self-defense mechanism working overtime. I’ve began to reclaim some of them as I started writing "Minsan…"
I stopped writing. If my subconscious buried those memories, it must’ve had a good reason to do so. As the prison warden said in the movie Minority Report, "careful chief. When you dig up the past, all you get is dirt."
I’ll start digging again when I muster enough courage to do so. Until then, RUUUNNN!!!
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Women of all ages old enough to want to seduce a man, PAY ATTENTION!
You should not be asking HOW to seduce a man, but WHEN. Honestly,
seducing a man is a no-brainer. It’s the WHEN that all women should ask
themselves. Why? Here are some reasons why the WHEN is more important
than the HOW.
1. Men by nature are sexually active creatures. It doesn’t matter if
they’ve been injured or fallen from a cliff and broken three ribs, a
leg, and both arms. If they can still get it up, even if you want them
not to, they will get it up if you get them sexually attracted to you.
2. Most women think that it’s just a simple question of how. Get
this. No matter what tricks you use, if you’re butt-ugly, it won’t
matter. No guy will pay you any attention. Unless you get him drunk.
3. Now that we’ve settled the question of looks, let’s settle the
question of which group you belong to. The butt-ugly types, or the
butt-men-like types? Now this is easy. If you think you belong to the
former, then punish yourself no more. Your wisdom is right. And there’s
no sense in beating yourself up for it. Worry not, for even butt-ugly
people like you CAN STILL seduce men. Now, if you think you belong to
the latter, then what the hell are you reading this article for? Woman,
get yourself a man right now! If you’re still having problems, skip all
these and go
4. So, you’ve accepted you’re butt-ugly. Your next question is
naturally: then how can I still get myself some action? There are three
options you can explore, but basically they’re all the same.
Option A - breast enhancement
Option B - butt enhancement
Option C - plastic surgery and some mix of liposuction
5. Now that you’ve "prettified" yourself, congratulations! You can
now saunter over from the butt-ugly types group huddled at the far
corner of the room, and join the pussycats wily roaming the jungle for
some man-meat. Post a note on your bathroom mirror (which you must read
everyday) saying: Today is the day I lose my virginity. (and you should
believe it too!)
6. Now that we’ve separated the chaff from the grain, and all women
reading up to this point are QUALIFIED to seduce men, we answer the
most important question of seduction. WHEN.
When should you seduce men?
a. When you know they’ve been involuntarily sexually inactive for a long time (try 3 days).
b. When your eyes make eye-contact with them and their eyes make
breast-contact or butt-contact, girl, you know you’ve hit the jackpot.
c. When they’ve just had a promotion, or some other sort of life-changing achievement.
d. When they’re on the rebound
e. And should I still be saying this? When they’re drunk of course!
Now that you know when you exactly need to do the seducing, it’s time to do the act.
My 3 G’s is pretty simple and straightforward.
Get Naked. Get laid. Get dressed.
Rinse and repeat.
Now you just need to look for an article in how to keep a man that
you’ve just seduced and you’re good to go. But until then, hold those
wedding horses girl.
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Posted by: bhapu in Thoughts
I have a confession to make. I have a new favorite author - Card. Orson-Scott Card, writer of the Ender Series, genius, prophet, empath - and more. Yes Le Guin, I still idolize you. I still envy how you can make the words you write dance, come alive with life. Not just form pictures in your readers’ minds, but sweep them up in harmony. Your words are music, and they breath life for anyone who read them. Your work, if ever it is to be classified should never be put under literature, for it is art. I envy you your eloquence, I am light-years behind. Wait for me.
And of course, how could I not mention Martin in this article of worship? To Martin I attribute my envy of a writer’s gift for great character creation. To imagine, and create not just a name, a description for a face, body, mannerisms to that name, to let loose that name in a world of fiction - and then bring it to life. The skill to weave that many characters, complete with complexities, and inanities real people have is true genius.
And now Card (I will be including Kress here in the future, but as of now that I’ve read only two of her books, my judgment of her is still incomplete) brings to the table a complete picture. Not a parade of a great writers here to entertain me, but successive geniuses dropped on my lap purposefully. In the end, it only tells me what I’ve known for a long time ever since I wrote Fate: decoded. But what the hell, so I’m being irrelevant by saying this. What the hell again? I’m built this way, and I’m built to endure this way. That even knowing to the core how all our life is an illusion, I still choose to live it as real. Legends was the first of a great many landmarks, but it certainly wasn’t the first. Only the most obvious. Occam’s razor - how ironic I had to learn what it meant and beat myself with it.
But you see now don’t you? The increasing number of de ja vu’s for each person each generation. I don’t even think I’m the first to get this many, this severe. Only that I’m the only one I know who’s been allowed to write it. If it’s been written before, then I haven’t read it. Or the thread touched on an entirely different matter than the one I’m pointing out in here. Then it’s beyond the point to explain. Those who will understand me, already figured it out on their own. And those who can’t, will never do, even if I show them a road map, pointed, and led them by the hand. And there are those who refused to accept. Because accepting it as true hurts. And what universal truth have we learned so far about truth? That it hurts. And damn it to hell, if it hurts, it must be more than true. But I am no Ohmsford, and this matter is no Sword of Shannara everyone can pick up and remain whole after.
I’ve tried to write my theory through a story. But the words would not come. Perhaps because I’m not allowed to tell it, or perhaps I’m just too unworthy to do so. At the hierarchy of geniuses, I rank so far up as Kress’ toenail clippings. And that’s saying a lot. I could’ve threaded that path as well, had all the components necessary, but two roads diverged - and I, I took the one everyone used. Or did I? Therein lies the problem. But you gave me Card, so either you want me to know that most truths arrive only circular conclusions, or else you want me thinking it is. But if you know that I will know that you will know…
But how could I second-guess the one who created me? In so much as an AI can ever second-guess his programmer, I’ll probably never even reach that far. But I hope I’ve touched a nerve somewhere. Our sense of perception is limited, because the world we live in limits it. As would be the case for computer programs who are locked in binary codes and electrical impulses between circuits and chips.
The crux of the matter is if following all illusions, I would find truth.
But my life, that’s what you want me to tell, is it? You gave me the Speaker for the Dead - and you want me to speak of myself. How strong do you think I am, that I could look into the abyss of myself, and speak my story as a true speaker would? I am not Shea, I could not bring myself to go back there, and then expose myself to the world. Whatever you made me, you did not make me humble. You shaped me into someone like Bean, but left me enough humanity to feel like Ender. Locked in a constant struggle to maintain my humanity, yet on the fringes always desiring greatness. Yet you took that greatness away from me. You shaped me, just as you needed me. And you wasted half of my life to do it. Before I do what I have to do, before I write whatever you want me to write, give me a glimpse - tell me a lie. Give me sweet poison, and I will drink it with gladness.
But no more of this yank and pull stuff. I am ready. Give me the tools, and set me to work.
My path has been trailblazed by others before. It should not be that hard after the grinder you put me through. And yes, no more for my son. Or I go on strike.
Yes, funny if I subscribe to irrelevances. But then, I’m built this way - so fuck you!
—
The power of hegemony, is that achieved by a benevolent group,
humankind can actually achieve peace and end all hunger and death. The
craziness of it is that though humans are more or less rational, we are
also more or less ruled by our passions. In the right hands, it is
deliverance, and in the wrong ones - well, I believe in hell, right?
The paradox, and what really annoys, is that passion cannot be
separated from the rational. And the greatest of men aiming to do good
better be passionate at what they do, or we are more than lost to the
megalomaniacs of this world.
The final solution is for everyone to step into the shoes of those
they hate most. For liberals to think like fascists, for secularists to
entertain religion, for atheists to believe in a God, vice-versa.
and then everyone would see that we’re not that much different from
each other. that what makes us tick is also what makes our adversaries
tick. and that in the end, they are not our adversaries at all.
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Normally, I would reserve that title for Dubya. But wouldn’t you know it, it seems that title is now being contended by none other - (drumroll please)
*mimics high-pitched voice introductions of beauty pageant contestants*
Miss Teen USA, South Carolina!
Yes, the usual assumptions that the Q&A portion of beauty pageants presupposing the pageant is looking for more than just beauties, has just gone down the drain. We may expect in the near future that organizers may consider dropping this portion just so they can save the pageant from future embarrassment.
Don’t believe me? Here. It’s even subtitled so you can take in the full impact of what the poor girl is saying. lol.
And if you didn’t get that, I’ve transcribed it here for you.
Judge: Recent polls have shown that one-fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?
Ms. I’m-not-stupid-just-intellectually-challenged: (deep breath) I personally believe (pause) that (pause) US Americans are unable to do so, bcuz, uh, some ah, people in our nation don’t have maps, and I believe that uh, our education like, such as South Africa, and uh, the Iraq. Everywhere like such as, and - I believe they should, our education over here! in the US should help the US, should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our children. (deep breath, doesn’t know what struck her) (it’s the stupid bug, idiot!)
Host: (sported a pained expression on his face all throughout gorgeous’ answer and is now struggling mightily not to guffaw and break out in gales of laughter) Thank you (mfph) Ms. South Carolina
—
Ok. You can stop laughing at the poor girl now. Her answer has just spawned an entire phenomenon on YouTube, never mind the entire web. These are the three best spoofs I found so far: how to call 911 Ms. SC style, make us proud baby!, skip to end of Ms. SC answer and watch the tacked on video (its a clip from Billy Madison) Here’s what the guy talking to Adam Sandler said in full:
"What you just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close
to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this
room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points,
and may God have mercy on your soul."
roflmao. The judges in Ms. Teen USA should have told Ms. SC the same thing. We award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. lol.
—
Although, this kind of thing may be funny, miseducation of [quote]US Americans[unquote] is no laughing matter. In fact, it may be the most tragic thing to happen ever since Bush was elected - twice by the same US Americans we are laughing about!
For a country that holds the largest number of nuclear weapons, and a country that has the greatest military power in the world, having people like her choose its next president, is a clear invitation to Armaggedon.
A few more clips of American stupidity should scare you shitless.
r Americans rili stoopid? or r dey jz pleyn ignoorant?
statistically speaking…
and these are the people who support the war?
and you wish this guy here was the typical American…
logic 101
—
So you think studying are for chumps?
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First off, something that made me go off: OMFG! I want that for christmas! orgasmic Kindle. This device is the equivalent of ipod, only that it’s designed to download and hold e-books.
I’ve never been a fan of e-books myself. Since downloading them is quite a chore, plus the fact that reading them on a PC is quite tiring on the eyes. And you can forget about printing what you downloaded, since buying the actual book itself will be much cheaper. So when this novelty came out, you can imagine my excitement. Especially when the review claimed that its LCD display mimics the paperlike quality and view of an actual book.
Of course, it’s not perfect. The review says its clunky, still leaves a lot to be desired in terms of being reader-eye-friendly, hip, and most importantly, usable anywhere around the world. As it is, only american consumers can use this gizmo [insert sad face here]. It wasn’t specified in the review if e-books can be downloaded straight off from the internet, or if only Sprint customers can do so, since apparently, Sprint services its *gasp* yes, wireless connectivity. Imagine having at your fingertips a device that can download any e-book you desire, as long as Amazon has it in its catalog. No more endless searching in bookstores, lining up in checkouts, and yes, no more waiting for the paperback issue. And this is what got me excited: because apparently, Amazon is selling its e-books cheaper than what it offers for its paperback issues, and that overpriced hard-cover of theirs.
So, will it be a hit? Or will it be a bomb? I think, only if they release it in the international market. After all, Americans aren’t widely known for being bookworms now, are they? (I’ll apologize now for this seeming racist comment, but you know, my statement stands on fact)
Now onto more fun stuff…
Human Nature - chimps beating humans at memory challenge, women in China who carry condoms are instantly identified as prostitutes and sent to prison, divorce bad for the environment (hurray for communal marriages!), your toilet water now straight to your tap, and cyborgs now looming ever closer (both human and animal cyborgs).
And then Bush the maniac…
Satan and his lies - of course this doesn’t mean that just because the NIE has verified that Iran has indeed dropped its nuclear program (for now), that Bush will be doing the same re his plan to conquer the entire middle east. Hey, when WMD excuse stopped gellin for Iraq, it was democracy Bush was bringing on the table. It won’t be any different with Iran. If Iraq’s taught us any lessons, it’s that Bush’s motto is: if there’s a will, there’s a way.
And damn it to hell, it better be Dubya’s way!
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I don’t get it. What makes the Catholic church leadership so blind that it can’t see it’s belligerent stand against contraception as hypocritical and totally un-Christian. Is it because ever since the council of Nicea, it’s leaders have been sexophobic? Priests were forbidden to marry, women weren’t allowed to administer the holy sacraments, and for all intents and purposes, have morphed into the saducees and pharisees of Jesus’ time. Theirs is the sin of the first sinner - pride. And if you don’t believe me, look up what the Pope says about himself as the leader of the church. What kind of humble servant of God proclaims himself (or his office) as infallible? Is that like claiming God’s mantle as your own? Puhleeze. It took the Catholic church centuries before it would even admit it was wrong in persecuting Aristotle for claiming the earth was not the center of the solar system. And still the Pope insists on infallibility. As if there would be an antidote for asininity.
Yeah, yeah, I know. The church, in its early beginnings, HAD to claim infallibility so as to preserve the church from breaking up. It had to maintain a united front, and a strong leadership that would not be unquestionable so as to survive. But we are past that stage now. Christianity is the biggest religion in the world, next to Islam. Insisting on that foolish pride just shows up these sorry church leaders as so unlike Christ. In fact, much of Christianity’s decline today can be traced back to its leadership. And it’s losing its faithful by the thousand day by day because it is unwilling to - yes, cast away its pride.
I have a lot of bone to pick with this religion I was born into. Yes. Born into. I did not choose it, my parents chose it for me. As their parents before them did. But that does not mean I am less a believer of Christ and of God than them. It only means I don’t believe in the Church as it is today. Not these men in robes pretending only they have the keys of heaven. Not these hypocrites who ogle scripture yet fail to live the essence of it. We don’t need priests, the Pope, religious leaders to believe in God. We only need ourselves and God.
In business, this is called eliminating the middle men.
Here are Christ’s two greatest commandments
"’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And
the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law
and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40,
NIV)
Unconscionable are conservatives who belligerently insists contraception as against God’s wishes. If you love your neighbor as yourself, does that mean you’d wish impoverishment on yourself because you had too many mouths to feed?
Oh, I’ve heard all the arguments of these rabid purists.
Contraception is murder - since when? since the sperm or the egg alone became alive? It won’t even be alive until it has joined, divided multiple of times, and formed a heart and have it start beating. By then, it’d be abortion. And we’re not talking about that, are we?
Contraception is subverting God’s nature and plan - well, duh. He obviously trusted us more to give us enough brains to figure out contraception I’d doubt He’d object to us using it to better the lives of our neighbors.
Contraception reduces women as sex objects - err. Nowhere in the bible has God even been as sexophobic as these anti-contraception wackos. We are enjoined to enjoy our sexuality. Sanctity of marriage won’t be broken just because both couples are enjoying their sex. They’re married after all. We’re not talking about adultery, or sexual depravity. We’re talking about two individuals, married, sharing their love for each other - as often as they want. Without having to bring to the world a child they may be unable to feed.
Natural family planning is the way - yeah. Tell that to the marines, father. Meanwhile, while the rest of the world isn’t as sexually disciplined as you stuck up pricks, can we for the meantime help the poor by allowing them not to impoverish themselves even further?
How do you help a drowning man?
Stand by the shore and decry loudly that God created water and bouyancy laws and we should therefore not mess with it, or plunge in the water and save the drowning man?
Because as blasphemous as it may seem, conscience dictates we save lives first before playing sanctimonious. And death by slow hunger due to poverty or death by murder is just both the same. And these wackos aid and abet poverty worldwide.
Mass murderers, the fools.
16 Comments »
I’ve been away for the holidays. My mother-in-law actually managed to wrench me away from my beloved laptop, to languish at a place far-away from civilization - and the internet. I spent All Saints and All Souls Day and the days before and after these holidays babysitting my son and catching up on my reading (whereas back home, I just babysit my son and stay online 24/7) I’m still not over the enormity of the last book I read and I recommend everyone (for those who have the time) to read this book: Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
A few quotes from the book
"Intelligence is ongoing, individual adaptability. Adaptations that an intelligent species may make in a single generation, other species make over many generations of selective breeding and selective dying. Yet intelligence is demanding. If it is misdirected by accident or by intent, it can foster its own orgies of breeding and dying."
"All struggles are essentially power struggles. Who will rule, who will lead, who will define, refine, confine, design. Who will dominate. All struggles are essentially power struggles, and most are no more intellectual than two rams knocking their heads together."
"Civilization is to groups what intelligence is to individuals. It is a means of combining the intelligence of many to achieve ongoing adaptation. Civilization, like intelligence, may serve well, serve adequately, or fail to serve its adaptive function. When civilization fails to serve, it must disintegrate unless it is acted upon by unifying internal or external forces."
and my favorite passage of all
"When apparent stability disintegrates, as it must - people tend to give in to fear and depression, to need and greed. When no influence is strong enough to unify people, they divide, they struggle, one against one, group against group. For survival, position, power. They remember old hates and generate new ones. They create chaos and nurture it. They kill and kill and kill. Until they are exhausted and destroyed, conquered by outside forces, or until one of them becomes…
A leader, most will follow.
A tyrant, most will fear."
This future is coming - a time when food and water costs more than gold or gasoline. When societies crumble and neighborhoods are left to band together to survive, or go each on their own and die picked off one by one by thieves and scavengers.
A time when food and water is king. And all those who control it, rulers of the world.
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Events are unfolding in the US, the same as I foresaw in the Philippines.
I did not join EDSA 2. I had that uneasy foreboding years before when she was just campaigning for senator, and then the vice presidency. I trust my gut feelings. And back then, I disliked the way she was marketed. (maybe you still had a part in that marketing, Manolo  )
And then EDSA 2 happened. No, not the rally, but the events before the rally. I saw clearly how everything was a coup. But i was unsure. So i stayed in the sidelines and kept silent. My prof asked me to go with them. I said no. He told me: sayang ka. akala ko idealist ka pa naman. I had no comeback. I wanted to shout to him, yes I dislike Erap, but I fear what would happen if GMA ascend into power, unelected, with the option of still running for president, with all the powers a president’s office behind her has. So i stayed, and watched from the comfort of my home as the coup happened.
When EDSA 3 happened, I doubted my own doubts about GMA. So far, the maximum tolerance that was enforced the whole time of that riot was the only good decision GMA has ever made in her stay in office.
But then, and then, and some more then. Those made all the difference. GMA has fulfilled all the bad vibes I felt about her, and surpassed it some more. And we are at a point where my gut feeling is again telling me something. This time, I will not keep silent. It is better that I be proven wrong because people listened to what I said and therefore take actions against my predictions from happening, than for me to be right, and gloat from behind bars - or death.
I always follow US politics. For the simple reason that anything the US does, affects the whole world. In the 2000 US election, I felt Gore was a sure winner. I was for Gore. But then Bush stole the vote. And the American people, much vaunted for their pride in democracy and liberty, stumbled. The generation of warped Americans finally showed its presence, and it was felt. Barely a year into Bush’s presidency, 9/11 happened.
My hairs prickled and I had goosebumps when a few months after 9/11, when the 9/11 commission was encountering stonewalling from White House itself that the realization dawned on me that 9/11 was Bush’s Pandora’s box. And he had opened it, letting loose a whole chain of events that he or his neo-cons cannot possibly control. I knew then that the US was on the road to authoritarianism. And that it would be a police state soon if Americans don’t wake up and remove Bush.
But they re-elected him. And this year Bush issued his own EO pronouncing the constitution not in effect in times of war, or upon presidential prerogative. Alas, the world’s bastion of liberty has fallen. And its citizens hardly squeaking a peep, too hypnotized by senseless entertainment.
Both countries - the US and the Philippines, are on the edge of great change. The US, looking into a future of becoming a police state, and the Philippines, looking into a future of anarchy.
I don’t mind anarchy reigning here in the Philippines. The Philippines can be rebuilt with stronger hands and wiser minds. But if the US continues on its path today, the whole world would be changed. And entire lines would be drawn, and it would be war on a scale more massive than WW2. Extremism would break out of its confines, and most democratic countries today will fall in line with the US and become police states.
Welcome to the new paranoia. Where fear of your own shadow leads you to sacrifice your liberties so that your leaders can screw it some more.
1984, 20 years later. Not just one state. But the entire world.
The UN would be subsumed by the EMPIRE. Begun, the paranoia wars has.
5 Comments »
No, I will not talk about the infuriating things happening today in the Philippines. I will not even talk about the infuriating things that happened to me this month. It’s just too infuriating that to write more about it will just make me more infuriated, you know? And I don’t want my middle name to be Mr. Infurious. I already have a middle name. And it’s Mr. U.
–
Last week - or perhaps, the other week before that, there’s a special documentary I watched on ESPN. It’s about a young man who died of an accident who became an organ donor to a lot of people. A choice he made when he was still alive. What made it unique was that his parents were willing to follow his wishes. As asked by the reporter who interviewed the parents, they could’ve refused to follow his wishes, being the legal guardians of his body (him being unmarried), the parents answered: yes we could’ve. But we know that wouldn’t have made him happy, wherever he is now. We wanted to follow his wishes because that is the best way to cherish him.
Because this young man’s death was widely reported in the papers, his beneficiaries easily figured out where their donated organs came from (donor information is strictly confidential). And it all started from there. These beneficiaries contacted his parents and asked to meet them. Media got wind of the story and the rest is history.
–
The other week before that, I saw another ESPN special, this time about a father and son. The son had Down’s Syndrome, but unlike other kids with Down’s Syndrome, the boy exhibited extraordinary talent in music. In short, he was a musical genius. Not only that, but because his mother exposed him to swimming in his early years, he had muscular strength unlike most kids with Down’s syndrome. Except his muscular strength was concentrated only on his upper body, his lower extremeties remained flaccid. Thus the boy remained wheelchair-bound.
His musical talent was easily recognized in his school and he became part of the school band. But because being in the band entailed marching and doing formations, his family had to find a way for him to be able to participate in the band.
His father became his feet for him. During band practice and competitions, his father would wheel him around, follow band formations, and march his wheelchair for him. This became their daily routine. The father switched to a night job and would come home just as his son was waking up to get ready for school.
–
Dead Poet’s Society, 50 First Dates, Naruto, Click, Braveheart, Dance Drill.
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Those two ESPN specials, and these movies - yes, you got it, made me ALMOST cry. Well, Dead Poets had me bawling (Oh Captain, my Captain!) and Braveheart (Freedom!) had me in silent tears, but to ALMOST cry, well that’s an achievement for me. There are only few instances in my life when I can remember I truly cried (barring my crybaby years in childhood and spanking days). Twice, in fact. Both times with Days of the Lord. First was when I received the letters, and I read kambal and Sir Xave’s letters to me. It was then that I realized I had missed kambal’s growing up, and was just surprised to learn that they could already write. It was also then I realized someone recognizing my strengths and putting so much belief in me. Belief without tied expectations. Second was on the last day of DWTL. This day is sacred, and I will not talk about it.
I saw Dead Poets when I was fifteen. That poem’s line immediately had me bawling. I saw 50 First Dates last year. It didn’t make me cry. But it made me almost cry. (sa Tagalog, nangilid ang luha) My heart felt a mixture of sadness, inspiration, and heartbreak - and that’s almost the same as crying for me, without tears. Two episodes of Naruto made me almost cry. The first one when Naruto was saved by Iruka, and the second one when Chouji battled Jiroubo. Click didn’t even make me almost cry, but the story did touched me deeply. Braveheart didn’t make me cry the first time I watched it, or even the second, third or fourth. But the last time (just last month), I don’t know what came over me, but I just found myself in tears at the end of the movie. Dance Drill is an easy tear-jerker.
They say only people in their old age become this emotional. Crying over things they don’t usually cry about. I’m a stone cold-hearted SOB, and I hardly even show emotion at the worst of times. Even at times when I want to cry because my chest hurts and feels like it’s going to explode, I am unable to shed tears. The most I could do is swear.
Yes, I didn’t cry both times I died.
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Why’d I write about the organ donor guy? Yes the story touched me, but I wrote about him because like him, I want my whole body to be donated when I die. Yes. My whole body. Any parts or organs that can still be used, (even skin and bone marrow, anything) I am giving up for donation. Take this essay now as an explicit permission for such donation. In fact, I should start carrying around my wallet a pledge of some sort. The rest of my body that can’t be used, I leave for cremation.
Why?
Because with this act, I become immortal. I live on in those who receive my organs and body parts. Hell, if I could even attach the condition that all my beneficiaries also put up the organs and/or body parts they received from me for donation when they die, I’d be a happy man. That’d ensure that parts of me will live on and on until they are kept being donated.
At least if my life didn’t have meaning now, it’d have meaning then.
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Why’d I write about the father and son?
Simple. The love this father has for his son is the same love I have for my son. It may be hard to believe, but you have to be me to understand it.
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Yes. I’m accepting I’m human and sheds tears. I am now an emotional, tear-jerking fellow who ingested too many estrogen pills. I now cry at retreats, or at least will cry in them if I ever attend one. I now allow my feet to touch ground and shed my devil wings and horns. Heck, if there’s a born-again Christian, call me a born-again human.
I’m still the cold-hearted SOB that I am. Except my heart now breaks at cat deaths and animal suffering.
Surely, if ever jail wardens want to reform their inmates, they only have to let them own pets, and force them to care for these pets, and I’m sure each of them will come out all bleeding-hearts convicts. I know I only became this emotional when I got Ming-ming. And I haven’t even gotten over his death.
That blog post I wrote about him? I’m still unable to read again till now. So fuck any edits for that post for a while.
I’m now officially changing my middle name to Mr. S. I pretty much destroyed my Mr. U image.
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*ending song of 50 First Dates plays*
*voice over of my shout out*
*readers bawl shamelessly*
*i wait for kingdom come for reader comments*
*i bawl shamelessly when no one does*
*my wife puts a token comment to comfort me*
*i bawl even harder and swear off the estrogen pills*
*i feel ok. that is, until my next cat death*
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